


Lasky, I'm Sorry

by UnimpairedDreams



Series: Letters to Lovers [1]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-05 04:16:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10297319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnimpairedDreams/pseuds/UnimpairedDreams
Summary: Aaron writes a letter to Justin. A songfic to Nina by Ed Sheeran. (Can be considered a prequel to 'Noodles I'm not sorry')





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DisasterSoundtrack](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisasterSoundtrack/gifts).



> So i love this couple and i heard this song and thought of them so xx

I met you when I was a teen  
But then you were one as well  
And I could play a guitar  
Just like ringing a bell  
*  
It was nice in Pittsburgh. Not sweltering but not freezing. Just nice. I’ve never been able to leave though, not that id want to. It’s my home, my safe place to land. Where I met you Lasky. Lasky, Lasky, Lasky... I love you. I don’t think you love me anymore but I do love you. We used to snuggle up on a couch in the basement of your house and your parents hated it but I’m loved it and I think you did too. I one left my boa down there on the radiator and it melted. A weird mess of pink and purple and blue. Do you think if we visited it would still be there? I’d like to try.  
*  
Sometimes I wonder  
In any other summer  
Could you have been a part time lover to me?  
Listening to Stevie Wonder  
*  
That summer, I’d just joined Haus of Haunt and I was so busy. I never had time for you. I should have spent time with you. Maybe that prepped us for the filming. Maybe it didn’t. Maybe if I’d left you then we could have avoided the bruises from bottles or the pain caused by panics and drugs. Maybe Lasky.  
*  
Under the covers where we used to lay  
And ReStacks is what the speakers play  
Id be on tour almost everyday  
But when I was home up in my flat is where we used to stay  
*  
After drag race I was always touring. Fist it was music. Then the premiere. Then the fan favourites. Then the finale. Then Australia. I could have taken you with me. I thought I cared about you, now I know I did, I do. Maybe it would be you I’m marrying. Maybe not.  
*  
Just watching a DVD, smoking illegal weed  
Getting high as two kites when we needed to breath  
We’d use each other’s air just for the people to see  
And stay up all night like when we needed to sleep.  
*  
Fuck you were beautiful when my eyes were clouded and the bruises were fogged over and my mind was high up. Weed was a crutch, a promise that I’d always love you but I love you’s don’t count when you’re high or drunk or during sex. They don’t count for so long that when you say it sober it’s like you’re not really speaking. Just mumbling these words that should mean something but don’t.  
*  
We’d go anywhere our minds would take us  
And I’d say you were beautiful without your makeup  
And you don’t need to worry about your weight, cause  
We can all be loved the way that God made us.  
*  
You have always been a pretty woman but god you are a handsome man. Even the quiff I told you not to get. I don’t believe in miracles and half the time I don’t believe in God but I believe in you Lasky and that’s enough. It’s enough for me. I know you’ve had weigh issues but when I’m staring at your waist is because you haven’t cinched and you’re smaller than me. When I comment on what you’re eating I m asking if I should have had what you’re having. I know I was never the most supportive but fuck Lasky. I tried.  
*  
And time’s the only reason that we could break up  
Because you were always saying I’m away too much  
Distance is relative to the time that it takes to get on a plane, or make a mistake.  
I’ll say it again,  
*  
I’m sorry Justin. I’m sorry that I was never home. That I only said I loved you when I was drunk or high. I’m sorry that I didn’t love you to my fullest. I’m sorry you had to leave in the middle of the night. I’m sorry you slept on the couch in your own home so many times. I’m sorry that I bruised you. I’m sorry that we both have such good aim from throwing beer bottles. I’m sorry that you first got high. I’m sorry I broke your trust in guys like me. I’m sorry I beat you. I’m sorry that I could never be what you need. I’m sorry I was never interested in you. I’m sorry that I used you for fame. I’m sorry you joined Haus of Haunt. I’m sorry you met me.

I’m sorry Justin,  
Love Aaron xx

**Author's Note:**

> Comment if you want more or if you want to request something or maybe a sequel from Justin's perspective. I have another verse of the sand so... xxxx


End file.
